Pause
You don't have to respond in the moment. "Let me come back to that" buys you time to gather yourself.
Name it specifically
"When you said X, this is what landed for me." Specific is harder to dodge than general.
Give them a chance
Pause. Let them respond. Most close white friends will get defensive first, then process, then apologize within 24–72 hours.
Decide your stakes
Some friendships survive these conversations and grow stronger. Some don't. Know what you're willing to lose before you start.